Long live the Spatula King

Some of you may remember a certain email from about 7 years ago that made little sense but was still highly entertaining. It was the one where I, the Spatula King, was pondering my Breakfast Kingdom and was in search of members of my court.
I feel that as a King it is my duty to regale you from time to time with tales from my kingdom. Today I bring you the tale of Edward, the brave spatula who exemplifies the spirit and spatulicity of all spatulas!