"Flacid with rage"

Stephen Colbert understands:



It seems that there was some confusion as to what I was angry about with the iPhone. Most of my rage was pointed at the media and the fanboys who where so wrapped up in the fact that there was an actual iPhone in existence they seemed incapable of forming coherent sentence. Instead of extolling the virtues of the revolutionary interface all they could say was "look at the pretty touchscreen!"

In other phone related news.. I will probably be spending a large chunk of change on my wife. Sprint announced the Motorola Q is now available for their network. I would get one for myself but I do not like the non-touchpad interface used for Windows Mobile 5.0 for Smartphones or the mini-QWERTY that has become so popular. I love my iPAQ and its tapable surface. I can't imagine playing bejewled without it plus all that screen real estate makes watching movies on it very nice.

iRant

You will all have to bear with me on this one. This has been stewing for about a day now, ever since my F5 riding ass read the up to the minute reports straight out of endagdet's CES coverage.
Thats right, I'm talking about the iPhone. Its the current super buzz topic and I don't think there is anything short of free energy that could take that title away.

Now, after reading about this thing and trying to digest the abundant (yet oddly vague) information about it I came up with some very quick conclusions.

Number 1: OS X. WTF? Ok.. ok.. you need to get this thing out there, no need to write a whole new platform for it, but why call this thing a phone? Why not just call it a mini-tablet PC with a built in phone?

Number 2: A touchscreen. There are already touchscreen based phones. They are called PDAs with built in phones? These have been out for about 5 years both for the Pocket PC and Palm based platforms... and people have been complaining that they don't want a touchscreen on their phone for 5 years. This is one of the reasons current smartphones are hard to find with a no shit touchscreen (that and the fact that windows mobile 5 for smartphones was designed so it wouldn't need a touchscreen to save costs on the hardware.) This interface is pushed even further by the use of gestures for the iPhone instead of the tried and true pointing and tapping.

Number 3: Support for Widgets, Google Maps, and Safari, and iTunes (of course) with CoverFlow, Bluetooth 2.0 with EDR and A2DP, WiFi, and IMAP push from Yahoo to get your emails. Gee this sure sounds like more than a phone to me.. and doesn't Cisco already own the trademark for the iPhone they released 2 months ago?

THIS THING ISN'T A DAMNED PHONE, IT'S A PDA RUNNING OSX!

This is where the ranting begins. The world is seeming to go apeshit over this thing and its not even out yet. Everyone is amazed at the functionality that is built into this device (and they should be). What gets me is that all the news agencies and the world in general seems to be slobbering at Steve Jobs feet for thinking of putting all these things into one package.
Holy shit people. The pocket PC with integrated phone has been around forever. It does everything the iPhone does and more, its also been doing it for a very long time. The palm PDA phone has been around even longer! Look at the current generation. The Treo is a great device. What does it do you ask? Well, it plays your MP3s, it surfs the internet, it lets you read your email, it has bluetooth 2.o, it has a camera.. wow, doesn't that sound like the iPhone?

My anger isn't with the device, it isn't with apple, its with all the fan boys who are proclaiming a new age of enlightenment because Apple has released their own version of the same shit that has been around for years. I understand that the phone is a nice step forward. I understand that it is very appealing to alot of rational consumers and I also understand that it looks very pretty. What I don't understand is how people can ignore the last decade of development or the fact that the iPhone is entering a crowded market.
I know most people are looking at this thing with a sane and rational view but it seems to me that most of the people on the soap boxes have completely lost it.
I don't hate apple (contrary to popular belief) but I am starting to hate the cult following it is cultivating and the way people are putting on blinders to everything not made by Apple Inc.

To hopefully dissuade some of those out there looking to tear apart my argument, remember that this was a rant. I know the iPhone clearly not a smartphone. It isn't designed to be one. True to Apple's tradition of keeping things over simplified so that they don't scare technophobes off they have created a device that is also true to the world wide trend of ever increasing functionality in phones. Kudos to apple for once again answering the call of the consumer. I thing the iPhone will become a fairly common sight. I am just afraid it will be because of sheer popularity and not on actual merit. Maybe that is because I am just used to being let down by Microsoft products.

I'm going to stop here. My post is becoming disorganized and hard to read. I will close with these final thoughts.

The iPhone is a pretty interesting platform all things considered. It is a far enough divergence from current smartphones that it probably won't be competing for the same market. It has alot of things integrated in it, many of which I desire, some that I don't. The screen looks great, it has a large storage capacity, and I'm willing to bet the sound quality is pretty good for voice calls. I won't be getting one. I can do the same thing for cheaper using a non-apple product like the Motorola Q or the Treo 700 series (take your pick, palm or windows based).

RIP face fuzz

The "beard" got shaved today. Once again I am smooth. My chin is cold.
This marks the end of my vacation. I'm buying books tomorrow.

Time to get back to "work"

Well, that was a lovely two weeks. I had a great time going on vacation to Denver and San Diego. I spent way way more money than I should have but it was worth every penny. Why? I will tell you why. The other morning I woke up, rolled over and started rubbing my wife's back in an attempt to wake her up in the only way that doesn't make her mad at me for waking her up. I started with a soft stroke or three then moved in to focus on rubbing the usual problem areas of knots and tension. Thats when I ran into a problem. They where not there. I'll let that sink in for a moment.
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Now that you have contemplated the gravity of that statement I feel no need to elaborate so I will move on. I too have some New Years resolutions. Ok, its a couple (NOT a few). My first is to maintain my GPA. That is to say that come this time next year I still want a B average. My second resolution isn't to lose weight or get in shape, its something much more reasonable. Portion control. I have decided to go back to my old eating habits of only eating when I am hungry and then stop eating when I am no longer hunger. The system worked well for me for 25 years and now that I have finally gained enough weight that I no longer look like a stick pretending to be a tree I can need to cut back on my mass intake. I would also like to see an increase in vegetable intake but that isn't a new years resolution, its more like a craving. (Shhh.. just between you and me, I don't like all meat all the time, just mostly meat most of the time.)

I'm kind of tired for playing Wii all afternoon with one of my friends so I think I will stop hear and go to bed at a reasonable time.